My friend PP (Real name ‘Pritesh’ – we call him PP because it winds him up) was chatting about his pants earlier this week. When 
he called, I couldn’t figure out why he kept banging on about pants and a poor mobile signal caused an odd moment where I wondered if he was going to confess some weird fetish to me.
“Pretty sure you should be having this conversation with your wife” was my initial response until the signal cleared and it turns out that he had found out about a deal on Giorgio Armani Boxer shorts. He was calling to ask my other friend (who runs an online shopping company) if he could match the deal or get him the pants cheaper. My friend’s response was to immediately check out the deal, bulk buy the entire stock and resell it with a mark up.
All the pants were gone in under 24 hours.
PP was miffed.
Especially when my friend didn’t even offer him a discount.
It also didn’t help that PP’s wife then went out and bought him a load of pants on sale at Marks & Spencer (which he describes as ‘underwear for the dying’) so all in all he hadn’t had the best week…pants wise.
What has this got to do with writing? Well leaving aside for the moment that I really like the idea of writing a story entitled ‘PP’s Pants’, the whole thing got me thinking as to how easy it is to find a story anywhere. I didn’t expect to find one coming from PP’s pants…I’ll rephrase…about PP’s pants but it just goes to show inspiration can come from anywhere and anything. Even a pair of boxer shorts.
That then got me thinking as to what it is I’ve done writing wise in the past year and what I aim to do in 2014. I’ve made a list for myself inspired by the truly brilliant Lotte Lane who is a writer of great talent, a great friend and someone who really knows how to market herself properly (she calls it ‘professional showing-off’) – something I always struggle with.
I think as a writer it’s important to set yourself goals and I can say from experience, it really helps. Which is why I’m sharing this with other writers and with anyone who struggles to fulfil all those promises they make every New Year but can never quite achieve for whatever reason?
JOHN’s TOP TEN WRITING TIPS for 2014
1. Review the last year
What did you achieve?
What did you want to achieve?
2. Make a list of all the things you achieved
This will make you feel happier and more confident about your goals for the New Year.
3. Make a list of all the things you didn’t achieve
Why didn’t you achieve them?
Were your targets realistic?
Or were you just a little bit lazy?
4. Write down what you want to achieve in 2014
Be realistic.
Don’t set yourself ridiculously complicated goals like ‘I want to walk on the Moon by Dec 2014’. They’re great goals, but are you really going to be able to WhatsApp your mates from the moon by the end of the year? BE REALISTIC.
5. Be Realistic
Ahh…there’s that phrase again. But I’m repeating it because it is important. I set myself some stupid goals a few years back and ended up doing none of them.
6. Be Honest with yourself
You know yourself better then anyone. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Maybe try setting yourself some goals that work on your weak points. It’s hard to face your weak spots, but think how fucking awesome you can be when you address them head on?
7. Be a bit selfish
My biggest weakness as a writer is not being selfish enough to tell people to fuck off (politely) and leave me alone when I need to write. I’ll always try and help someone if they need it or do something that takes me away from writing when I really shouldn’t let it. You don’t have to be an arsehole, just remember that having time to yourself to do what you need to do to improve yourself is not a bad thing.
8. Don’t forget your life
In contrast to being a bit selfish, don’t forget to stick your head up from your computer/notepad from time to time. It’s LIFE people…and if you’re not careful you can miss it…and miss some great story opportunities along the way. I almost missed a date with a really nice girl once because I was so bogged down.
9. Take at least 1 Holiday
It doesn’t have to be expensive, but having a break when you’re run down can really help you refocus and recharge. I was totally wiped halfway through last year and was unproductive to a dangerous point. One last minute cheap trip to Greece later and John came bounding back stronger and more focused.
10. Don’t Give Up. Ever.
Quitting is for politicians and sissies. You must never drop to that level. Focus, talk to your friends and family, and just keep going.
Are you full of it?
So am I full of it? Well, I can be sometimes, but just to show you that I’m not on this occasion, next week I’m going to post my own review and targets for 2014.
Till then…stop reading and get going.
