Once upon a time a boy met a girl. They had a couple of really nice dates that ended pretty well. Then she met up with her old boyfriend and all of a sudden boy becomes yesterday’s news.
Now at first glance you’d think boy would be upset at this. But the truth is boy shrugs shoulders, figures it’s probably for the best and moves on to the many more fish swimming about in the sea.
In case you were wondering, boy is loosely based on me and some friends I know.
What has this got to do with writing?
Well! I’m in the middle of finishing up my first book which was inspired by my own and other people’s dating adventures over the past few years. I say ‘adventures’ but in reality when you string them together they combine to make a saga that would give the run time of the ‘Lord of The Rings Trilogy’ a run for its money.
So where did this inspiration start?
Let’s rewind back to early February 2011.
Like many singletons out there, I was on a personal quest to find a date. I was especially motivated considering I’d broken up with a girl I’d convinced myself was ‘The One’ over a four year period of fights, make up sex, more fights, less make up sex, even more fights, pretending to have a headache to avoid make up sex, an epic disagreement in a club where I heard the words ‘f**ing b**tard!’ aimed in my general direction a dozen times over the course of the evening and a hangover apology the following day that thankfully didn’t end with make-up sex.
I finally got it.
This girl was not ‘The One’, even if she did look good in a thong. I broke up with her a few days before Valentine’s Day.
Classy…
So that bullet was dodged, and for the first time in four years some familiar doubts and questions queued up.
“When will I have sex again?”
“I wonder what I should have for dinner later.”
“Will I ever have sex again?!”
“If I eat two burgers and a chicken curry does that make me greedy?”
“I wonder if the hot woman in the checkout queue at Sainsbury’s will go out with me?”
“Probably not if I eat the curry”
So you know…the usual stuff that goes through your mind after a break up.
Friends are a highly valuable source of support and amusement!
Ironically those first few months of deep and meaningful questions led me onto one of the most entertaining, frustrating, idiotic, and insane but ultimately personally rewarding periods of my life…and in part got me writing full time for a living.
It was also during those first few months that I started dating again. My first adventure into the dating world was with a girl I’m still friends with and even though it didn’t work out, she was a lot of fun and put up with a lot of stupid shit from me. My latest adventure into the dating world ended with the girl telling me she had met up with her ex-boyfriend the night before we were due to meet up for our third date and had decided to ‘give that another go’ despite telling me she really liked me. My reaction? Fair enough, have fun!
Spring 2013: She was really nice…so of course I couldn’t go out with her for longer then a few months.
Following that revelation, an internet crash and my computer packing up I decided a quiet drink with a friend was in order.
That quiet drink ended with the two of us getting trollied on wine, sangria and more wine before having a sheesha and laughing about our equally questionable taste in the opposite sex. (She says I go out with ‘mean women’, I say she ‘goes out with dickheads’…cliché anyone?). Drinking with a friend on a school night is not usually a clever thing to do. But it was fun and it did remind me of all the reasons you should never let things get you down especially when you remember that life is pretty damn fun and rewarding most of the time.
So even though I’m typing this with a broken wrist (skiing), a bruised ego (dating), a load of writing I should’ve done yesterday and last night but couldn’t (bad internet, useless computer, tube strike and drinking on a school night), and a slight headache (self inflicted)…I’m still alive and I’m still pretty cheerful!
A large part of the book I’ve written addresses the entertainment, frustration, lust, bitterness, passion, envy and humour that I and everyone I’ve ever known and spoken to have experienced at some point whilst they’ve been dating. I’ve read a lot of books on the subject myself including stuff by Mike Gayle, Neil Strauss, Lauren Weisberger, Anna Karimo and more. When it’s ready to publish I hope it will serve as a reminder to anyone who’s ever felt crap after a bad date or thought that they were getting on really well with someone only to be shoved aside quicker then a commuter on the tube, that when all’s said and done…each experience brings you one step closer to the best version of yourself (you know you’re already awesome but there’s always room for improvement), and potentially to a person you want to be with for longer then five minutes. Plus it’s supposed to be funny and a sense of humour goes a long way in this game. After all, if you’re not having fun in life, what’s the point?
Autumn 2013: I found out she had a boyfriend…next!
Now, if that doesn’t cheer up any bitter frustrated singletons before Valentine’s Day, I don’t know what will.
Actually I do…get off your arse and make something happen! It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out; you will have an entertaining story to tell…and for me to steal.
