When you talk with writers both successful and struggling one of the (many) things we will always say is that “material can come from anywhere and everywhere”. We might say it in different ways or add overly colourful metaphors to it, but it all boils down to the same thing. A good story can come from literally anywhere. This is why I always regard writer’s block as nothing more than me being too lazy to write.
A lot of my ideas come from the varying levels of embarrassing (highly entertaining according to my friends) and strange things that seem to happen to me. I’m one of those people that seem to “attract things” in the same way a woman with big boobs or a nice bum attracts my attention. Being a forgetful bloke I scribble down all the odd things that happen to me in either my trusty notebook (volume 1,876) or my laptop if I have it on. I then pore over my notes once in a while when I’m stuck on something.
Here’s one I stole earlier
To give you an example of just how many ideas can come from the day to day goings on of a seemingly normal life here is a brief run-down of everything that’s happened to me since the end of February.
John’s seemingly normal life
February 28th
Following a nice but doomed encounter with an accommodating accountant lady several weeks ago, I decide to give online dating a renewed try and strike up a conversation with a really pretty blonde science teacher. We seem to hit it off and arrange to meet up in person for a coffee and a chat
March 2nd
Discover science teacher lives in Brighton…bugger. But she’s smart and funny, plus she has really nice boobs.
March 6th
At the behest of my flatmate, take a day off work and go for a drive and a walk in the forest followed by a trip to the pub. Flatmate proceeds to get plastered on red wine. Fortunately for her I’m driving us home. Unfortunately for me I’m sober and driving us home.
March 6th – Evening
Return home to discover my bedroom ceiling has collapsed onto my bed. The roof is where my head would have been if I was sleeping. Decide to go back to the pub.
Nothing a bit of Polyfilla won’t fix.
March 6th-25th
Live like a nomad with the aid of a beaten up, but trusty Peugeot 307 that someone has thoughtfully nicked the fog light and badge from.
March 7th
Meet up with the pretty science teacher for the second time
– Romantic intermission –
March 9th
Return to London. I’ve had worse weekends.
March 10th – 16th
Despite technically having nowhere to live whilst some builders unsurgically repair a f***ed up decaying roof, am in a chipper mood. Before discovering I’ve run out of pants.
– Romantic intermission with a hint of trouble –
March 17th – 21st
Very busy working week not aided by living out of a rucksack and receiving increasingly concerning slightly depressing and neurotic text messages from the pretty teacher.
March 21st early evening
Totally knackered and heading to Epsom to stay with a few friends before heading to Bath to see my friend Disco Dave’s play the next day. Receive text messages from teacher accusing me of not giving her enough notice about coming to Epsom. I carefully point out I invited her 7 days previously. Receive tirade in response. Five minutes later receive an apology. Suggest she tries to calm down. Get called a “f******g bender for always being right!” I know it was meant in a jokey way. Disaster sort of averted, I get to friend’s house have one beer and pass out during a Batman film.
March 22nd AM
Roadtrip to Bath with my friend Bhiru! Sun is out, birds are shining…wait that doesn’t sound right…ah who cares! Roadtrip!
Bath…as seen from the inside of my made up Ferrari.
March 22nd MIDDAY
Have spent an hour admiring the beauty of Bath…from the inside of a Peugeot. Phone Disco Dave and explain parking conundrum. Dave makes a strange wheezing sound through his teeth before saying that parking is a problem in Bath.
March 22nd – 30 minutes before play due to start
Receive a phone call. “Mr Allen? Would you like the coach to pick you up from the theatre?”
Finally understand what WTF means.
March 22nd – 30 seconds before play due to start
Having discovered that the play actually takes place in another venue and that a coach is arranged to transport the audience to and from the venue, Bhiru and I have been clever. Well…Bhiru has been clever and asks for the postcode of the venue so we can meet them directly there. We park in the local Morrison’s and are greeted in the venue by the entire audience who are waiting for us led by Dave. Just before he pulls me into a bear hug Dave employs a standard greeting;
“You dick!”
Ah…friends!
March 22nd – 30 seconds after the play finishes
The play was good! So I unintentionally pay Dave the most backhanded compliment ever; “That was genuinely enjoyable!”
I am a dick.
March 22nd – EVENING
Following a really fun afternoon with Dave and Bhiru, Bhiru and I return to London to watch a film at the cinema (“A Long Way Down” – based on the book by Nick Hornby. Good adaptation!), and have something to eat. After we come out of the cinema I discover multiple messages from pretty science teacher. Apparently I don’t care enough to ask how she’s been doing and that clearly we’re not compatible as she’s too highly strung for me and I’m too argumentative and self involved for her and that it was a shame but that’s life, thanks for several really nice weekends and it was nice getting to know me and good luck with the future….and when she’s discharged from hospital if I let her know my email she’ll send me the pictures she took of me as I look really good in them.
It takes me several re-reads of the one-sided soap opera to understand that she has wound herself up so much because I didn’t respond instantly…that she had an asthma attack and had to be taken to hospital. I do feel a bit bad, but after yesterday also slightly terrified that she wants an emotional punch bag rather then a boyfriend. I don’t know how to respond. Fortunately Bhiru comes to my rescue and after reading the texts with increasingly raised eyebrows suggests a nice but final message that guarantees parting on good and safe terms.
It works.
A mixture of disappointment and relief do battle in my brain, and I consider employing Bhiru as a potential girlfriend screener.
March 23rd – Mum’s Birthday
I realise I have forgotten to buy my Mum a birthday present.
And I’m meeting her and the whole family for lunch.
Shit.
Truth is stranger then fiction…but inspires great stories!
Just from a couple of weeks of my life I have gathered enough material to develop at least a dozen stories or ideas for stories. The worst/good bit is that those weeks are just the tip of a very large embarrassing/entertaining iceberg.
Start carrying a notebook with you. The next time you suffer from a mental block on whatever it is you’re working on or doing…just have a retread through your past exploits. Rest assured you’ll find something there that is inspirational…and possibly entertaining/embarrassing.
POSTSCRIPT
As I sit here writing this (I’m in a Costa Café fulfilling a writer stereotype) I’m also observing (eavesdropping) what is clearly a first date. A floppy haired guy who looks as though he’s doing a bad impression of Richard Hammond is busy imparting his musical knowledge of pan pipes and song lyrics of the 80s pop scene (WTF?) to an attractive brunette who from where I’m sitting looks bored out of her skull. She keeps checking her phone too…clearly counting down the seconds to the fake emergency text from a friend that will get her out of here.
Poor Richard.
I feel for him having been in that situation myself many times…minus pan pipes.
See? Ideas can come from anywhere…
THE WEEKLY FREEBIE
FOR ANYONE WHO STRUGGLES TO WRITE – LISA JEWELL’S TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE A BOOK
Think writing is easy? Think again. I know this, but am always happy to share good advice I’ve been given on getting writing done. It requires patience, persistence, more persistence and more patience…things that Lisa sums up really well.
